I have been contemplating this space, constructing and deconstructing it mentally, over and over again for the last few weeks. Yet here I am with only the first block laid.
I’ve been struggling with the “what” of why I’m here. The “why” is easy. I do know that I want to document. I want an account. An account of my life, my thoughts, my temporary views, my observations.
I’ve been pondering how to achieve building this written account. Starting with the limited ideas: I’ll write a real estate blog (my career), I’ll write a parenthood blog (my responsibilities), I’ll write an interest blog (insert particular theme here).
In doing these imaginative gymnastics, I came to the conclusion that I am A) not just the living embodiment of one theme, and B) not exclusively interested in one of my life themes enough to write about that topic indefinitely.
I am a person who lives a complicated life, who is driven by multiple desires and purposes, who is on a quest to be 1% better every day at many versions of myself. The idea that took hold of me was that I should write about all of the versions of myself. I should present myself to this account exactly as I am today.
Each of us is on a self-help quest, be it thematic (personal finance, religion, mindfulness, etc) or topical (how to bake sourdough, how to create a blog, etc). We pore over blogs, forums, books, videos, etc from “experts” who have completed the journey and can present their wisdom to the masses.
Yet each of them was once you or I, without knowledge and limited with experience, curious with a question and a desire to learn more.
I have read 20+ books on several subjects written by people who had cracked the code. The problem I kept running into was that each of the accounts I read was generic or theoretical. I would come away knowing the game board, but not knowing how to move from space 1 to space 2 on the path.
This is the primary reason why we, as a society, read so many self-help books. The end result is too-far away, too unfathomable at this moment, an unreachable desire today. So we don’t take action other than picking up another book on the same topic hoping it will tell us how to get from space 1 to space 2 on the game board.
I don’t know that I’ve ever encountered an expert before they held the keys to success in hand.
I think that is what I want to convey with this account: I am a person who holds no keys, who does not have the answers, who is naive and scared, who is curious, who is driven.
This brings me to my second problem: where to start.
The number of things I want to self-help are too many. The ingredients of my self too varied. How do I portray myself to you completely with a blank canvas in front of me?
To that, I do not know. But today, I will start with this.
Ingredients of Self 